Courtesy: Rubenstein PR
Almost a week before the Fourth of July, and 3 days before Examiner.com announced its demise, I spoke with Sameera Sullivan of Lasting Connections, who explained why her dating service is not like any other dating service out there. What I learned from Sameera in this conversation enlightened me about where a man or woman’s mind can be when they’ve been married once, twice, or 3 times. Or not even married at all.
Find A Mate Like You Mean It
Sameera Sullivan:
Lasting Connections is an elite matchmaking service that I started years ago. I saw a need for a reputable, high-end, personalized matchmaking service for men and women at the same time. I started in the recruitment industry where I worked with both men and women, but when I started Lasting Connections I focused mainly on finding partners for men exclusively. The men I work with are seeking relationships with women who are intelligent, lead healthy lifestyles, and have an interest in environmental and political issues. They want to spend the rest of their lives with someone, but are looking for a service that is more confidential and private than an online dating website. Most of my clients are in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s who have been married before, so they know what it means to be committed, and they are looking for that type of commitment again, they just don’t know where to find it.
Dating is difficult when you live in a large city like Houston, New York, or Dallas, and most of their time is consumed with work, and travel. So how do you meet the right woman? That’s where I come in. I screen and vet each candidate, and ensure that the people I set them up with are truly a good match.
I also offer image consulting, dating coaching, and provide them with advice after hearing feedback on their dates. I completely guide my clients through the entire dating process from pre-date, to relationship advice.
Daniel Quintanilla:
Now, why do you only work with high net worth bachelors mean? Why not lower than the net worth?
SS:
It happened very organically – I was introduced to my first client who valued the privacy, confidentiality, and high customer service I provided him. He referred me to other clients within his circle, and that’s how my business grew. Most of my clients are high-profile, and don’t feel comfortable creating an online account, or putting themselves out there in the public eye because they want to keep their identity confidential.
However, I also receive a lot of inquiries from people who are looking for a personal concierge matchmaking service without the confidential element. That’s where my newest venture comes in to play. I am launching a web application in the fall that matches you with people in your area and age group. We still screen each candidate, so you know that the people you are finding are truly who they say they are – plus you get your own matchmaker! The personalization of it is unlike any other service out there now.
DQ:
That’s why you only work with three to five bachelors at a time because your service is so detailed and so unique in that way?
SS:
Exactly, I really get to know each one of my clients and I really focus on finding them the perfect match. I am unable to offer that type of time investment if I work with too many people at the same time, so I typically work with three bachelors, and never more than five. It’s not easy interviewing potential matches, and getting to know the women as well. People are so unique in their own ways, it’s really important to truly get to know them. It’s a very detailed job!
DQ:
You deal with clients that have been married once, twice or three times. Do you deal with clients that have never been married at all?
SS:
I worked with one client who had never been married, but most of my clients have been in marriages prior to coming to me. Working with men who have never been married, or have not been in a relationship for several years are used to being independent so I typically match them with independent women who have their own careers and social circles. I always vet clients as well, if I see that a potential client thinks they want a committed relationship but deep down may have trepidations, I typically tell them to reach out to me once those have been worked through. My clients need a true desire to be in a relationship for my process to work.
DQ:
So you have that right to not take on the client, right? You have that right not to take on any client who’s single, but it all depends on the individual, whether they’re worthy of taking them on or not. Even if they were already married, is that right?
SS:
I have always been selective because I truly care about the people I work with and I want to see them succeed in love. I work with my clients vey exclusively, so I want to ensure that they truly want a long-term relationship. The only way I’m going to be successful at matching them is if I choose the right people to work with, and I think that goes with any business! My clients need to be open to coaching, image consulting, and feedback. I want to present them in the best light possible.
Lasting Connections is not about dating, it’s about meeting quality people that you potentially have a future with.
Sometimes I will meet a client who has just been divorced, and is looking for me to guide him in the direction of seeking a relationship. That’s where my two-year divorce program comes in. I work with them to find themselves, and the person they want to be as a newly single man. I coach them through their dates and help them understand what kind of partner they are looking for. Most divorcees (both men and woman) have been out of the dating game for so long, they have no idea where to start!
DQ:
When you’re looking for a woman, you expect them to be highly-educated, professional, and cultured, not to be any old average woman. And you expect them to have a high net worth as well as the bachelor does, too?
SS:
I welcome every type of woman! Most of my bachelors seek career focused women because they value someone who is passionate about the work that they do. They are seeking someone who is educated, cultured, and well-traveled, and who can have deep conversations about their life experiences. That is always the most important to them, not their financial situations.
DQ:
You do see a lot of women solely depending on men to give them success, financial security, and assurance. As a person, I frown upon that, apparently.
SS:
In media, so many women are portrayed in that light but in reality most women are career driven, especially here in New York City. There is something so special about women in New York – they are beautiful, independent, and successful without needing a man to validate that! That’s why I am here now, New Yorkers are great matches for the clients I am currently working with. When you are passionate and have a positive view on life it translates into a relationship!
DQ:
The type of recruiting you do now, you did that for high-level executives?
SS:
I was a recruiter for the Aerospace and Defense industry and worked for various Fortune 500 companies seeking high-level executives. It is my recruitment skills that really launched my matchmaking career. Unlike other companies, I work with a client and recruit them a match, rather than matching two clients together.
DQ:
You’ve had a lot of success with what you do with pairing up clients. What do you want to pass along to those who are looking to be successful in what they do, not only with dating, but with what they do in their careers?
SS:
Consistence and persistence – and a positive attitude! You have to show up every day and believe in yourself. Focus on what you want and take the necessary steps to get there. Starting a business is a long and rocky road, and there is a huge learning curve. Every time you fall, you have to get back up! I tell myself every morning, “today is a completely new day, I’m going to make it a positive one.” When you have a positive outlook in life, things will happen. It’ll go the way you want it to go.
DQ:
Yeah, I’ve stopped relying on luck a long ago. I mean, you only look at luck or superstitions in certain things, but 98% of it is on you. 98 to 99% of your success is on you, so that I love.
SS:
I always tell people, don’t ever give up. Go out there and smile at people, make eye contact, and start a conversation. You never know who you are going to meet!
Daniel Quintanilla:
Sameera, thank you very much. I appreciate it.
Sameera Sullivan:
Thank you, Daniel, it was really nice talking to you.