Nick Cordero, who died on July 5 of complications from COVID19, left a devastating loss on the family and friends he left behind, and the people he touched, including widow, Amanda Kloots, who realizes tonight the loss of Nick is more than Nick dying.
Amanda realizes she lost her family, like Amanda losing her husband, Elvis losing his dad, the real chance of being a family for at least a moment, and the dreams that Amanda had for a family gone just like that is what hits Amanda hard.
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Every day, as I process this loss more and more, I realize new things that are hitting me on a daily basis. Today it was that I lost our family. I lost my husband. Elvis lost his father, but today I realized we lost our family. We didn’t really even get to be a family. We won’t have those memories that I dreamed of since Elvis was born. This hit me hard. It stung like a horrible bug bite actually. The pain of everything has recently begun to stop me in my tracks. I’ll be doing something and I freeze, unable to think or move. My gut aches, it actually aches deeper than I ever knew it could. ⠀ I am saying this tonight in hopes that if anyone else can relate, know that I’m here with you. If anyone else feels this pain, you are not alone. Grieving is a journey we all do differently. Talking about it when I have the strength is helping me. I don’t always have the strength, sometimes I can’t talk at all. There are no answers. There is no right or wrong. I can only allow myself the time and the process and be honest with that. 🤍
Grief is something that just hits you at every or any moment when you least expect it, losing something you didn’t realize could be, the possibility of something real now gone, but Amanda too reaches out to those who are grieving just like Amanda is.
Little things make grief a little easier each day, like trying something new that doesn’t relate, or using things like Instagram story to share the joy your child and nephew bring each day.